It’s been a long time since I visited this space. A long time since I put words on a screen and shared what life is life. It’s not that I haven’t been writing – I did put a short book out in 2021 – but putting words here just hasn’t been at the top of my list. What’s been at the top? I mean really, survival. Because as much as I keep telling myself that life will show down just around the next bend, it really never does, does it? That’s just a lie we tell ourselves so we’ll actually get up every day.
Since the last time I was here, so much has happened. These kids have grown. They’ve gone back to their classrooms. I’ve gone back to my own classroom, hanging out with some amazing kids all year, and getting ready to meet a new crew soon. This season of life is kids straight busy. Not toilet training busy, but still straight chaos. Chaos we’re still learning to embrace.
With the chaos comes a sense of forced calm. Learning to let go of the things that drag us down – the toxic people, the events we don’t enjoy, the moments that feel like they’re not meant to be. We’ve all lost and gained so much in the last two years that it’s really showed me what’s real. What’s necessary. What’s important. And I can tell you for sure that trying to fit into society’s boxes isn’t it.
So, that’s where I’m at. I’m laughing, probably more I’ve ever laughed before. I’m happy, because I’m finally learning to just let go of the pressure. To rise above the expectations, and to expect myself only to be me. It’s a gorgeously freeing moment when you really embrace who you are and stop trying to be who you thought society needed you to be.
These kids? They’re still sticking popcorn kernels up their noses, dying their hair with lipstick, and melting cheese wax into the outdoor furniture. They’re wild, but they’re real. They keep me on my toes every second of every day, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I could do without the wrestling matches and throwing each other’s toys in the pool, but I don’t think skipping the crap is an option here. If it is, someone let me know.
What I’ve learned is this: people are going to love you, and people are going to hate you, and there often isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. People will judge you, try to drag you down, and hope the worst for you. All you can do is power through, believing that you are being the best version of you that you can be. And that’s a pretty amazing thing.
Find more about my journey in my book: Truest You: A Journey to Self-Discovery, Inner Acceptance, and Goal-Crushing Glory https://a.co/d/0fgYK2Z
Mommy Doesn't Lie 